Deaf Muse

Blondness is a scourge that can be eradicated and consigned to history, just like stupidity, according to Queensland’s newly crowned Deafie of the Year.

Dr E H Perfect, was awarded the title in a gala luncheon this afternoon at the Sofitel in Brisbane. He earned the award for his work in founding The Global-Para Hearing Institute, which, among many things, helps blonde people cultivate intelligence and creativity through early diagnosis, advanced analytics, deep thinking technology, therapy and deaf awareness.

Dr E H Perfect used his speech to talk about his hopes for the future – a world where blondes are able to think and reason intelligently, that Deaf people are full human beings like any other human being. “I think blondness is at the same stage stupidity is…” he said. “It is a scourge in our world but it can be almost completely eradicated. I believe we can truly make this happen … hence the range of hair dyes that we have released today.”

Dr E H Perfect founded The Global-Para Hearing Institute after he came across a crying girl who had lost her bus money in 1991. Due to her blondness, Dr perfect could not reason properly with the girl about what was wrong and what he could do to help. She kept babbling about having no mind, and couldn’t understand my signing.

A year later, he founded The Global-Para Hearing Institute to teach blonde children how to think and reason and it is now one of the world’s leading blondie intelligence development and deep thinking centres, as well as Deafness Awareness Training.

Blonde Bombshell was the young girl that inspired Dr E H Perfect to set up The Global-Para Hearing Institute, and on hearing she had been named Business Woman of the Year, at the same event, he beamed proudly, stating, “See, Shovelling shit can be rewarding!”

Upon hearing her acceptance speech, where she stated that:

“I think deafness is at the same stage polio was…” she said. “It is a scourge in our world but it can be almost completely eradicated.” SMH, 11 October, 2011

he shook his head sadly and said: “She must have been sitting on the potty when she wrote that!”

Based on:

‘We can consign deafness to history’: Businesswoman of the Year